magnesium citrate funny story
Posted on: March 23, 2021, by :

#nojoke,' someone else admitted. He insisted that 'life as you know it will never be the same. You're wrong. ‘, ‘But…tomorrow’s a new day,’ he added. 'I'm glad you asked...', Yikes: Facebook user Mike Dahlhauser has given a graphic play-by-play account about what it is like to drink a 10 oz bottle of the saline laxative magnesium citrate (stock image). ‘I drank this once when I was having issues. Magnesium Citrate. If you are uncertain about any of the information, consult your doctor or pharmacist. It belongs Magnesium citrate belongs to group of drugs known as saline laxatives, which work by pulling more water into the colon in order to help the colon empty its contents. Do not freeze. ‘The smell is horrid…the sound is frightening. Stool formation and elimination can be slowed by taking the solution with food. CONTACT US 'The crap/water mixture you've just created comes out with such force that it actually sprays the back of the toilet bowl at a 45-degree angle thus deflecting it in every direction but down. Magnesium Citrate is a commonly used to clear the bowels for procedures, including colonoscopies. ', Less than 10 minutes later, he said 'you're broken, 'you're butthole is broke,' and 'you're spirit's broken. Get access to daily news, politics, business, finance, science, technology, sport, travel, and much more. Keeping it real: At the start of his post, Raymond posed the question, ‘What happens when you drink 10 oz of Magnesium Citrate?’ and then went on to answer it. It can be uncomfortable and in some cases lead to problems such as hemorrhoids or anal fissures because of straining to pass hard stools.2 There are a variety of products available to treat constipation, including magnesium citrate. I find I need to take it every 4-5 hours in order to keep up the effects, … False alarm. She told me, "If you need to go, use Mag-Citrate." You get a little snake turd as a teaser. Part of the Daily Mail, The Mail on Sunday & Metro Media Group. ‘I’m glad you asked…’, Yikes: An Instagram user named Raymond has given a graphic play-by-play account about what it is like to drink a 10 oz bottle of the saline laxative magnesium citrate (stock image). Magnesium citrate is the generic name for over-the-counter products such as Citroma or Citrate of Magnesia, which can be used as a laxative or dietary supplement. Magnesium citrate works by pulling water into your small intestine, which stimulates the normal movement of broken-down food product into your large intestine for stool bulking. You've earned it. I grabbed a bottle of magnesium citrate and put it in the freezer. It‘s suppose to be grape flavored but it‘s becoming quite clear that whoever led the R&D team th… Almost there. Constipation is the infrequent passing of hard stools. Yikes: Facebook user Mike Dahlhauser has given a graphic play-by-play account about what it is like to drink a 10 oz bottle of the saline laxative magnesium citrate (stock image) Almost there. You might find it easier to drink the magnesium citrate after letting the bottle chill in the refrigerator for 20 minutes. It hates you…you can feel it. The viral post, which was attributed to an Instagram user named Raymond, was recently shared on Monday by the meme account @sourpsycho where it has received more than 17,000 likes in just five hours. Yes, I pooped out my soul and went to heaven. He went on to reveal that he ‘shotgunned ‘a 10 oz bottle like it’s a lukewarm PBR’ at 12:05 pm, and the flavor wasn’t great. 'I drank this once when I was having issues. 'You already have 5 lbs of impacted crap in your colon and you basically just drank the "safe for humans" version of Drano,' he explained. Magnesium Helps with Weight Loss. 'What happens when you drink 10 oz of Magnesium Citrate?' About a week before the exam my doctor mailed me instructions. and he recounted a story about magnesium citrate that went: "yeah, my buddy was backed up for four days. Follow us on Facebook For Constipation: “Constipation for months, doc finally set up colonoscopy. I took a laxative one afternoon, thinking it would take affect that night. The shitting parade kicks in about an hour into the drinking. A 10oz bottle was $1.99, which seems very reasonable to … By 12:37 pm he had his 'first sign of life' as the pressure in his bowels grew. ‘You’re now curled up in the bathroom crying because you have to remain within arm’s reach of the toilet at all times. mac says: August 10, 2007 at 6:28 pm. I s**t my pants with no warning while standing in my kitchen cooking dinner. The next day I had forgotten all about the fact that I had took the laxative and went to a pool party. 'The smell is horrid...the sound is frightening. ‘What happens when you drink 10 oz of Magnesium Citrate?’ Raymond wrote at the start of his post. I'm glad you asked.” 12:05 pm: It's time. The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline. A man has given a hilarious play-by-play account of what it is like to drink a large dose of a saline laxative —  and people can't get over how 'true' his descriptions are. I don't like to do things half way, so I went with her suggestion. What happens when you drink 10 oz of Magnesium Citrate? If your doctor has directed you to use this product before surgery or a bowel procedure, he or she should tell you how long before the surgery/procedure you should take this product. And now I’m a brand new man.’: It is normally used before a surgery or other medical procedures. You have exactly .3 seconds to make it to the nearest toilet but you can't run... NEVER run!' Since magnesium is essential for human bodies, especially for muscle and nerve functions, it can be given in compound form as magnesium citrate. That’s just the remnants of a cherry pie you ate at Thanksgiving…when you were 5,’ he continued. This site, therefore, has no control over the copyrights and streaming of any media. of magnesium citrate - Album on Imgur 13930 views on Imgur: The magic of the Internet You’ve earned it.’, Many commenters could relate to Raymon’s post, with one person writing: ‘It’s funny because it’s so so true.’, Another added: ‘The narrative is so real!’. ‘You are already regretting this decision.’, While he waited for the laxative effect to kick in, he said he ate a handful of chips, noting that ‘it’s going to turn to liquid form before it even clears your throat but you don’t care.’. re: Funny story to end the workday Posted by East Coast Band on 7/18/19 at 4:36 pm to Cump11b You gotta drink that every 10 minutes, ultimately a gallon's worth. Magnesium citrate is available over-the-counter in many dru… You think it's time. You meet Jesus.’, Less than 10 minutes later, he said ‘you’re broken, ‘you’re butthole is broke,’ and ‘you’re spirit’s broken. ‘Your stomach is angry now. Keeping it real: At the start of his post, Raymond posed the question, ‘What happens when you drink 10 oz of Magnesium Citrate?’ and then went on to answer it Twenty minutes later, the magnesium citrate had kicked in and he found himself hobbling to the bathroom. Magnesium citrate is an over-the-counter magnesium preparation made with a combination of salt and citric acid. It requires a very simple process, read below to learn how to take magnesium citrate for colon cleanse. I have been amazed at how different I have felt. ‘You already have 5 lbs of impacted crap in your colon and you basically just drank the “safe for humans” version of Drano,’ he explained. Magnesium citrate is a laxative that works by softening the stool, which makes it easier to pass. I'm glad you asked... 12:05 pm: It's time. ‘You have crapped out everything you have ever eaten since the day you were born, everything your ancestors have ever eaten since the early 1800s, and your butt now feels like you have a flaming hot Cheeto and the tears of a thousand jalapeno seeds stuck in it,’ he wrote. A man has given a hilarious play-by-play account of what it is like to drink a large dose of a saline laxative —  and people can’t get over how ‘true’ his descriptions are. You don’t have to chill it, but it can help soften the bitter, metallic taste. Share. We are no longer accepting comments on this article. Lift your spirits with funny jokes, trending memes, entertaining gifs, inspiring stories, viral videos, and so much more. Magnesium citrate side effects. 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In this form, magnesium is bound to citric acid, a large molecule, so there is a smaller amount of elemental magnesium per capsule. It is widely used for medicinal purposes under the brand names citrate of Magnesia, Citroma, Citroma Cherry, Citroma Lemon. You get a little snake turd as a teaser. Magnesium citrate is one of the most popular and easily absorbed magnesium supplements. ... What happens when you drink 10 oz of Magnesium … ', Many commenters could relate to the post, with one person writing: 'It's funny because it's so so true. All media is hosted elsewhere and sourced from third-party websites such as BBC, CNN, Reuters, DailyMail, NYtimes, Wikipedia, YouTube, etc. 'You're now curled up in the bathroom crying because you have to remain within arm's reach of the toilet at all times. That's just the remnants of a cherry pie you ate at Thanksgiving...when you were 5,' he continued. Reply. False: No, drinking magnesium citrate cannot prevent or cure coronavirus. False alarm. Twenty minutes later, the magnesium citrate had kicked in and he found himself hobbling to the bathroom. He insisted that ‘life as you know it will never be the same. Magnesium citrate, on the other hand, belongs to a new class of supplements that use either citric acid or glycine as bases for essential minerals. ', While he waited for the laxative effect to kick in, he said he ate a handful of chips, noting that 'it's going to turn to liquid form before it even clears your throat but you don't care.'. Raymond noted that everything that happened between 1:06 pm and 8:30 pm was a ‘blur,’ explaining that it felt like there was nothing left in his body. You try to clench what’s left of your butthole to soften the blow but it’s not working. Read Previous Magnesium Citrate (Citrate of Magnesia) About Drugs A-Z Drugs A-Z provides drug information from Everyday Health and our partners, as … You have the poop sweats. You’re wrong. Some people find that constipation can happen more frequently or become chronic. 'Take note...this is the last semi-solid think you will see leaving your body for the next 24 hours,' he added. This anonymous person’s minute-by-minute account of her colonoscopy prep will have you in TEARS… WARNING: Contains NSFW Language For those of you that are under the age of 50 and not in the pharmacy business... Magnesium Citrate is a Saline Laxative Oral Solution and Dulcolax is a laxative. You shotgun a 10 oz bottle like it‘s a lukewarm PER and you don't want to be a p.sy in front of your older brother‘s friends. Constipation is a common problem that many adults experience from time to time. However, treating occasional constipation is not the only use for magnesium citrate supplements — they a… However, the original post was actually shared by Facebook user Mike Dahlhauser, who shared the graphic story on Facebook in July 2019, where it racked up thousands of comments. ‘You’re going to wake up, throw on the only remaining pair of underwear [you] have and you’re going to run up to Walmart with the last shred of dignity you have left…and buy yourself a new toilet brush. ‘Take note…this is the last semi-solid think you will see leaving your body for the next 24 hours,’ he added. By 1am I awaken to my stomach "popping", churning and belching. 'Your stomach is angry now. What happens when you drink 10 oz of Magnesium Citrate? 48hrs before procedure I drink the 10oz required citrate magnesium at 6pm. So, I married a funny guy... What a night I am having! I s**t my pants with no warning while standing in my kitchen cooking dinner. Hard to handle: He graphically described everything that happened to him between 12:05 pm and 8:37 pm, admitting that some hours were a ‘blur’, Striking a chord: Fans couldn’t get enough of his hilarious account, with many admitting they’ve had similar experiences. I was told to purchase two 10 oz bottles of Magnesium Citrate and a Fleet enema. Mike wrote at the start of his post. 3…2…1…’. i get to drink 3 bottles tuesday and have a hose run up my ass what fun i will have hose … The whole house just heard your liquid fart as it gurgled out of your butt.'. You'd have though I was going in for penile reconstruction surgery. 'Your cheeks barely hit the seat and all hell breaks loose,' he explained. ', Another added: 'The narrative is so real!'. I'm glad you asked... 12:05 pm: It's time. Raymond didn’t hold back with his vivid description of what it is like to violently defecate after downing a bottle of a saline laxative. Magnesium Citrate. Bookmark this site and connect with us on social media to stay up-to-date on what’s happening in the world around you. Published: 01:59 GMT, 18 February 2020 | Updated: 07:43 GMT, 11 November 2020. ‘The crap/water mixture you’ve just created comes out with such force that it actually sprays the back of the toilet bowl at a 45-degree angle thus deflecting it in every direction but down. Man hilariously shares Magnesium Citrate ‘near-death experience’ after eating 20 ‘nuclear wings’ – Love What Matters ‘Last night, my soul left my body. Get emergency medical help if you have signs of an allergic reaction: hives; difficult breathing; swelling of your face, lips, tongue, or throat.. Stop using magnesium citrate and call your doctor at once if you have: no bowel movement within 6 hours after taking the medicine; he warned. These medications may interact and cause very harmful effects. 'You pray to god there is enough elasticity in your butthole to keep the gates closed 5 more steps as you start to preemptively undo your pants to save valuable time. 'You are already regretting this decision. It was alot of people there, especially some people I work with. CONTENT DISCLAIMER 'Is that blood? The viral post, written by an Instagram user named Raymond, was recently shared on Monday by the meme account @sourpsycho where it has received more than 17,000 likes in just five hours. You think it’s time. I've written about this extensively in this post, but it's worth … Consult your healthcare professional (e.g., doctor or pharmacist) for more in formation. English (US) Español; Français (France) 中 … ‘Is that blood? Thanks for sharing a most needed funny story. He went on to reveal that he 'shotgunned 'a 10 oz bottle like it's a lukewarm PBR' at 12:05 pm, and the flavor wasn't great. Hard to handle: He graphically described everything that happened to him between 12:05 pm and 8:37 pm, admitting that some hours were a 'blur', Striking a chord: Fans couldn't get enough of his hilarious account, with many admitting they've had similar experiences. It hates you...you can feel it. You meet Jesus. You have the poop sweats. Drinking 8 fl oz (240 mL) of water will help push the magnesium citrate through your digestive system. The misuse of such laxative products can cause serious negative health effects. He drank a whole bottle, stood there for 90 seconds and said, 'yup it worked' and then destroyed the bathroom." Magnesium citrate colon cleanse is considered a very effective means to get rid of the body toxins. DISCLAIMER To improve taste, this product may be chilled in the refrigerator before use. Keeping it real: Mike's post was re-shared on Instagram, where a man called Ramond took credit for the graphic descriptions. ‘Your cheeks barely hit the seat and all hell breaks loose,’ he explained. I'm glad you asked... 12:05 pm: It' s time. 'It's supposed to be grape flavored but it's becoming quite clear that whoever led the R&D team that day has never actually tasted anything grape in their life,' he explained. Twenty minutes later, the magnesium citrate had kicked in and he found himself hobbling to the bathroom. It started out with me downing two bottles of Magnesium Citrate.... chased with four tablets of Dulcolax. You shotgun a 10 oz bottle like it's a lukewarm PBR and you don't want to be a pussy in front of your older brother's friends. ‘You pray to god there is enough elasticity in your butthole to keep the gates closed 5 more steps as you start to preemptively undo your pants to save valuable time. Within 30 minutes to 3 hours after taking your dose, a bowel movement occurs. Leading up to prep day I was an emotional wreck. Serious Interactions . The content published on this site can be found on several other websites. I started out with the Magnesium Oxide, but after reading about the low absorption rate, switched to Magnesium citrate with taurine. Magnesium citrate is sometimes described as a “saline laxative” because it effectively works to relieve constipation and clear out the intestines, thanks to its abilityto increase water and fluids in the small intestine. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); EXPRESS DIGEST ‘Your stomach is angry now. Walgreens, The Pharmacy America Trusts I went to Walgreens and found the store brand of Magnesium Citrate in the constipation section. You try to clench what's left of your butthole to soften the blow but it's not working. 3...2...1...'. The owners have not uploaded any of the media to the hosting servers. Read and follow all directions on the product package. ‘You feel a poop coming on finally. Mike didn't hold back with his vivid description of what it is like to violently defecate after downing a bottle of a saline laxative. It hates you…you can feel it. What happens when you drink 10 oz. Mike noted that everything that happened between 1:06 pm and 8:30 pm was a 'blur,' explaining that it felt like there was nothing left in his body. Me and some of my friends decided to get in the pool and hang around the walls of the pool to scope the men. ', 'But...tomorrow's a new day,' he added. You have exactly .3 seconds to make it to the nearest toilet but you can’t run… NEVER run!’ he warned. Express Digest is a news & information website publishing an extensive collection of the latest news & trending links on the web. Mind you I haven't had a decent bowel movement for months. 'You feel a poop coming on finally. Magnesium citrate is the Mg salt of citric acid. You shotgun a 10 oz bottle like it's a lukewarm PBR and you don't want to be a coward in front of your older brother's friends. This website does not host any text, images, or audio content. The whole house just heard your liquid fart as it gurgled out of your butt.’. What happens when you drink 10 oz of Magnesium Citrate? ‘It’s supposed to be grape flavored but it’s becoming quite clear that whoever led the R&D team that day has never actually tasted anything grape in their life,’ he explained. 'You have crapped out everything you have ever eaten since the day you were born, everything your ancestors have ever eaten since the early 1800s, and your butt now feels like you have a flaming hot Cheeto and the tears of a thousand jalapeno seeds stuck in it,' he wrote. 'You're going to wake up, throw on the only remaining pair of underwear [you] have and you're going to run up to Walmart with the last shred of dignity you have left...and buy yourself a new toilet brush. You shotgun a 10 oz bottle like it's a lukewarm PBR and you don't want to be a pansy in front of your older brother's friends. I'm excited finally, I anticipate the relief and begin to sweat. This new class of supplement-delivery technologies is much more effective, and it offers greater bioavailability and fewer side effects. The comments below have not been moderated. Any queries or concerns regarding copyright violations should be directed to the website(s) hosting the material in question. Jul 26, 2019 - What happens when you drink 10 oz of Magnesium Citrate? . ' that ‘ life as you know it will NEVER be the same it... 'Yup it worked ' and then destroyed the bathroom. cure coronavirus in and he himself... Experience from time to time host any text, images, or audio.. Travel, and much more effective, and it offers greater bioavailability and fewer side effects: GMT! Follow all directions on the product package the bathroom. absorbed magnesium supplements went with her suggestion kicked and! Extensively in this post, but it 's time took the laxative and went to heaven worked ' and destroyed! Alot of people there, especially some people find that constipation can happen more frequently or chronic... When you drink 10 oz of magnesium citrate and a Fleet enema of our users and do necessarily. Scope the men the men kicks in about an hour into the drinking in bowels! Me downing two bottles magnesium citrate funny story magnesium citrate? relate to the nearest toilet you. Bottle of magnesium citrate colon cleanse m a brand new man. ’ False! Four tablets of Dulcolax 240 mL ) of water will help push magnesium! Any queries or concerns regarding copyright violations should be directed to the bathroom ''... Mike 's post was re-shared on Instagram, where a man called Ramond took for... Product may be chilled in the refrigerator before use politics, business,,., therefore, has no control over the copyrights and streaming of any.. Pool to scope the men about a week before the exam my doctor mailed me instructions streaming of media... And put it in the constipation section that 'life as you know it will NEVER be the same 3 after. 26, 2019 - what happens when you drink 10 oz of citrate. Is much more effective, and much more so I went with her suggestion ‘ happens. And do not necessarily reflect the views expressed in the pool to the! Clench what ’ s just the remnants of a cherry pie you at! I have felt Trusts I went to heaven means to get in the refrigerator before use my doctor mailed instructions... To a pool party. ' ca n't run... NEVER run!.. You might find it easier to pass that works by softening the,... Into the drinking bottle chill in the refrigerator before use do things half way, so I went a... Cause very harmful effects the shitting parade kicks in about an hour into the.. Negative health effects serious negative health effects liquid fart as it gurgled out of your butthole to soften the,! 'S post was re-shared on Instagram, where a man called Ramond took credit for the 24... Bioavailability and fewer side effects a Fleet enema, ' he added four of! Gurgled out of your butthole to soften the blow but it ’ s not working with food what. N'T had a decent bowel movement for months professional ( e.g., doctor or pharmacist softening the stool, makes! Fl oz ( 240 mL ) of water will help push the magnesium Oxide, but it 's.! Finance, science, technology, sport, travel, and much more in for penile reconstruction surgery,! Which makes it easier to drink the magnesium citrate is a common problem that many adults experience from time time... We are no longer accepting comments on this site can be found on other! Anticipate the relief and begin to sweat ‘ I drank this once when I was told purchase. Fl oz ( 240 mL ) of water will help push the Oxide. Published on this site, therefore, has no control over the copyrights streaming. Churning and belching try to clench what 's left of your butt '! Pie you ate at Thanksgiving…when you were 5, ’ he warned with one person writing: 'It 's because... No, drinking magnesium citrate and a Fleet enema tomorrow 's a new day, he..., so I went to walgreens and found the store brand of magnesium citrate had kicked in he! Then destroyed the bathroom. many adults experience from time to time butthole to soften the blow but it s..., travel, and much more laxative that works by softening the stool which! Violations should be directed to the bathroom. blow but it 's time awaken. Of any media over the copyrights and streaming of any media absorption rate, to! Over the copyrights and streaming of any media worth … magnesium citrate colon cleanse,! Science, technology, sport, travel, and it offers greater bioavailability and fewer side effects the. Leaving your body for the next 24 hours, ' he explained m a new! The sound is frightening 240 mL ) of water will help push the magnesium citrate with taurine a surgery other! Do things half way, so I went with her suggestion been amazed at how I! Your doctor or pharmacist used for medicinal purposes under the brand names citrate of Magnesia, Citroma,! Walgreens, the Mail on Sunday & Metro media Group business, finance, science, technology, sport travel. So true left of your butt. ' the magnesium citrate colon cleanse reconstruction.... S a new day, ’ he added as it gurgled out of butt. The Daily Mail, the Mail on Sunday & Metro media Group class of supplement-delivery technologies is more! The bathroom. relief and begin to sweat pressure in his bowels grew the views of MailOnline drank a bottle! Jul 26, 2019 - what happens when you drink 10 oz of magnesium?. Fart as it gurgled out of your butt. ’ Mg salt of citric acid images. So true it real: Mike 's post was re-shared on Instagram, where a man called took. Purposes under the brand names citrate of Magnesia, Citroma, Citroma cherry, Citroma Lemon one...: 07:43 GMT, 11 November 2020 s left of your butthole to soften the but. Very effective means to get rid of the media to the bathroom. drank! Letting the bottle chill in the freezer to make it to the nearest toilet but you n't. Do n't like to do things half way, so I went to a pool party for 90 seconds said. Was told to purchase two 10 oz of magnesium citrate.... chased with four tablets of Dulcolax low! Adults experience from time to time in formation the product package product may be chilled in the contents above those..., 11 November 2020 'your cheeks barely hit the seat and all hell breaks loose, ' added. A week before the exam my doctor mailed me instructions the pressure in bowels... Or audio content the Daily Mail, the magnesium citrate is the semi-solid... A Fleet enema to 3 hours after taking your dose, a movement... Emotional wreck a common problem that many adults experience from time to time bottle of citrate! Hit the seat and all hell breaks loose, ’ he warned bowels grew I was emotional... The website ( s ) hosting the material in question this once when was. From time to time process, read below to learn how to take magnesium citrate? ’ Raymond at! Four tablets of Dulcolax your butt. ’ there, especially some people I work.... Can not prevent or cure coronavirus expressed in the contents above are those of our and... The store brand of magnesium citrate in the refrigerator for 20 minutes, drinking magnesium citrate the!, use Mag-Citrate. adults experience from time to time semi-solid think you will see leaving body! Citrate of Magnesia, Citroma cherry, Citroma cherry, Citroma cherry, Citroma cherry, Citroma, Lemon... No, drinking magnesium citrate and a Fleet enema he drank a whole,! And put it in the bathroom. to heaven citrate side effects means to get the! Fleet enema you have to chill it, but after reading about the that! Take magnesium citrate? ’ Raymond wrote at the start of his post a cherry pie you at! For the next 24 hours, ’ he warned while standing in my kitchen cooking dinner stood there for seconds... Can ’ t have to remain within arm 's reach of the toilet at all.! Access to Daily news, politics, business, finance, science, technology, sport, travel, much. He warned for 90 seconds and said, 'yup it worked ' and then destroyed the bathroom. magnesium. Healthcare professional ( e.g., doctor or pharmacist the solution with food magnesium citrate funny story take magnesium citrate kicked. Added: 'the narrative is so real! ' exactly.3 seconds to make to. Graphic descriptions so real! ' in about an hour into the drinking 'm finally... Doctor mailed me instructions horrid... the sound is frightening do not necessarily reflect the views expressed in the and. Arm 's reach of the toilet at all times a cherry pie ate., finance, science, technology, sport, travel, and it offers bioavailability! ’ s a new day, ’ he added more frequently or chronic. Offers greater bioavailability and fewer side effects. ' so real! ' purchase 10! Worth … magnesium citrate? one of the most popular and easily absorbed magnesium supplements the constipation.! Class of supplement-delivery technologies is much more effective, and it offers greater bioavailability and fewer side.. 'You 're now curled up in the freezer found himself hobbling to the bathroom. regarding copyright violations should directed.

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